Renaissance Fair & Oyster Roast

Savannah, GA and Bluffton, SC

I bonded with my best mom friend in NYC over cheap school aftercare. I prefer a good deal, and I don’t care about my kindergartner learning origami or French. My search led me to an underground karate place that must have been breaking building codes. Any low ceiling basement space is for storage, and not a business catering to children, right? But it was so cheap. A man wearing a gi picked up the kids from school, and walked them to the dojo dungeon. The karate master’s grandma helped with homework and gave them snacks. Shockingly, only one of my mom friends jumped at this deal. She became my best mom friend.

We moved away from NYC and haven’t seen her children in person since 2020. These days, kids keep in touch by screaming at each other while playing video games online. They sound very bossy and don’t exchange many personal anecdotes or anything. It was exciting when she announced that they would be visiting for their February break.

Savannah, GA Day 1

We met them at the Savannah airport and apologized for the 55 degree weather. Fifteen minutes later we walked through the historic district to visit Forsyth Park. The kids played on the playground, ran after puppies on the promenade, and asked for money to buy from the vendors. I wasn’t interested until I saw one of those tables that said “Choose Your Subject - Pick Your Price - Get a Poem.” My younger son immediately noticed that the poet had a British accent. I said “ok everyone huddle up.” As we ducked our heads, and wrapped our arms, my older son spied the gentleman and said, “I bet he would write a good poem about crumpets.” Someone else suggested “fish and chips.” I said, “Nah, let’s try to stump him.” My younger son said, “I bet he doesn’t know anything about American football.” So we chose our subject to be the NY Jets. The poet is named Alex and he wrote a clever poem in about 2 minutes. Alex is the founder of Paint and Poems, a non-profit that raises money for artists. Very cool.

Forsyth Park poems and puppies

Next we went to the Starland Yard, a flea market and a food truck yard. Since people were waiting in line, I asked if there was a cost to get in. Actually, they take your credit card before you enter. Then guests purchase from each vendor by just giving the name on the credit card to pay at the end. It reminded me of going to an all-inclusive resort with the kids. They ran around ordering hot dogs and cokes without asking. We ended up trying all of the food trucks, and they were all great.

We happened to attend on Renaissance festival day so I ordered the turkey leg. Most people in that line were wearing pointy ears. I noticed that the dads were particularly committed to the theme. One brazen father was wearing an all spandex dragon bodysuit with cape. The website is update with special events 3-4 days per week. It’s definitely worth checking the calendar if you are in town.

Food trucks, princesses and knights

We ended the night ice skating in a very nice rink where the local hockey team practices. It’s in the basement of the major concert venue within the historic district. Everyone got hurt. I was pulled down on the ice by a kid. They want to go back. We’ll see about that.

Bluffton, SC Day 2

If you visit the coast of South Carolina in the month February then try to get to an oyster roast. In an oyster roast everyone stands around long tall tables with their accoutrement; shuckers, saltines, and hot sauce, while the employees dump large buckets of freshly roasted oysters in the middle. We were lucky to attend one, and introduce our friends who had never tried oysters. It’s fun for a group of boys, as admission includes an oyster shucker which is a dagger-like knife. It’s pointy on the end and blunt on the edges. We taught the boys to hold down the oyster with the provided cloth dinner napkin, and point the dagger away from their hands. They took to it with gusto, and we certainly got our money’s worth ($45 per person). We had a contest to see who could eat the most oysters. I won with 25. I don’t fool around with crackers and hot sauce, so that may have accounted for the record. The best part was making up oyster puns. It’s pretty easy. Just substitute the word “mussel” for muscle and “selfish” for shellfish. We went all night with such puns as, “Don’t be shellfish with the hot sauce!” or “Just working on my mussel tone.”

Speaking of old friends, we made a new one on a walk in Bluffton, SC. He is over 90 years old, and walks a mile per day much faster than my kids. We talked to him about the key to living so well into your 90s. I took notes for you. He makes oatmeal with blueberries every morning for breakfast. He really doesn’t eat any more fruits or vegetables than that, maybe 3 apples per week. In addition to his daily walk, he lifts 15 pound weights for his upper body. (I squeezed his biceps, and it was impressive.) He doesn’t watch TV but would be interested if someone would hook up his cable box. We had a lot of fun chatting with him. Our friends flew down from NY and their favorite activities were an unplanned Renaissance Fair and a 90-year old. Maybe the trick to travel planning is just getting out of the house.